The Kingdom of God – a phrase many Quakers are uncomfortable with, but one which I, somewhat to my surprise, find myself hearing and using increasingly. Some examples:

In a small group towards the end of my Equipping for Ministry residential week, when we had been sharing very deeply and supportively together, the avowedly non-theist in the group said as we finished: ‘We have just shared a taste of the Kingdom of God’.

‘The Kingdom of God is Here and Now.’ The first words I remember hearing from Thich Nhat Hanh on a retreat he led at the University of Nottingham in 2010. At that point I knew that this was a Buddhist group I could belong in.

‘And he said to them, “I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God come with power.” Mark 9:1.

Invited to share my hopes for the future at the conclusion of a weekend looking at our spiritual gifts, I say ‘to bring the Kingdom of God to Watford’. I’ve also found myself saying in ministry that ‘the Kingdom of God is here, now, but it doesn’t look much like it because most people don’t realise it’.

So what do I understand the ‘Kingdom of God’ to mean? There are some clues in my previous posts about God and Heaven. I would use ‘Heaven’ and ‘Kingdom of God’ interchangeably. ‘Kingdom of God’ suggests very strongly that God is in charge, that it’s a theocracy. It describes the way we aim to run Quaker meetings. Modern re-writes such as ‘Divine Republic’ just don’t quite work for me, though I do understand people’s discomfort with the connotations of ‘Kingdom’ – sexist, elitist, etc.

Another example: conversation at a breakfast meeting for Christian leaders in Watford ‘If you haven’t a leader, then who’s in charge, who makes the decisions?’. Pause for thought on my part, then I reply: ‘God’. Pause for thought by other party, then: ‘well, I suppose that’s what we think too’.

I think it is fair to say that my understanding of the Kingdom is a sense of something mystical, but I also feel that it could be ‘real’ – though to achieve it we have to change our lifestyles drastically, and, as an absolute minimum, ensure that everyone (everyone in the world, not everyone in Watford, or everyone in Britain) has enough to eat, adequate health care, access to education and so on. This means a lot of us having a lot less things, travel, holidays, cheap clothes, cheap, exotic food. Not an easy change to make.

Justice is a huge topic, with lots of aspects, all of which could concern Quakers. I thought I’d just share an incident from my life recently that made me think about justice.

My washer/drier went wrong. I did the washing and when I took the clothes out at the end of the cycle they were dripping wet. I knew something was wrong, but I put them back in, dialled ‘spin’, pressed ‘on’,and waited to see what would happen. The clothes came out damp, but not dripping ie as they should do. But I tried to spin the drum round manually and it was not moving freely. We’d had a few doubts about the machine, especially since a t-shirt had got caught between the seal and the drum and badly chewed up. It was clearly time to ask someone to look at it. We’d only had it four and a half years so it was still covered by the extended warranty we’d bought.

I had to wait in the next day (aggravating since it meant missing Wednesday group, but such is life). A man came and looked at it, agreed it was faulty, probably due to something caught in the mechanisms. He couldn’t see anything through the holes in the drum, so he said he’d have to rebook us as it was a two-man split drum job to repair it. First, he’d have to ask permission to do that. The insurance company refused permission, saying it was ‘beyond economic repair’, they would contact us about a replacement.

Now, here’s where the issues of justice arise. I do very nicely, financially, out of this situation. I had paid £175 to extend the warranty from two years to five years. I’ve now had two call-outs in that time, and I get a brand new replacement machine that would cost me about £500.

However, much of the existing machine is now destined for landfill, though some will probably be recycled.

Also, the cost of two people here to come to the house and work for, probably, less than an hour, is valued more highly than the work of how many people and how much material and how much energy to produce and ship a brand new machine. The second person is probably needed to meet health and safety requirements, rather than because it needs two people for the entire time.

There is something very wrong with the sums here. We are not putting the right values on people, their time and their effort, or on raw materials, or on energy usage. I wish I knew how to put this right.

In the event, we freecycled the old machine, delivering it to the person a few streets away who thought it worth trying to fix it. To someone with appropriate skills and some time, I think it probably can be fixed, and I hope it goes on to give several years of service to someone. That will go some way to redressing the balance of justice in this small incident.

This is a small incident, but, to me, it illustrates some huge issues.

or How Jewish mysticism brought me face to face with Jesus

I have been denying, ignoring and rationalising away Jesus for more than thirty years. Before I knew I was a Quaker, I tried more conventional churches. I struggled with the creeds, I struggled with the Trinity. I could cope with God, and the Holy Spirit – but Jesus, I just couldn’t get it. The teaching, the good example, yes, fine. A great teacher, let’s sit and listen. An example, yes, let’s love our neighbour. But this divinity business – I don’t think so.

Then in recent years, I’ve acknowledged the need to look again. Several incidents challenged me to do this. The claim, I almost felt the accusation, that I had modelled Jesus’ love for someone – what? me? how could I have done that? A challenge from a Buddhist friend when I made a dismissive remark about Jesus. A vision of Jesus teaching by a lakeside, in a guided meditation. A Reiki attunement raised questions about healing. Did Jesus miraculously heal people? Does faith healing really work? In my head I couldn’t accept it, yet I would put my hands on someone and expect healing energy to flow.

I went back to the gospels, and to the early Friends. I read, I thought, I used my intellect and my empathy. I came to see that whether Jesus was fact or fiction didn’t matter, there was a deeper truth in the gospel stories. I came to understand that the writers of these stories accepted and expected miracles.

Then I went to Woodbrooke for a course about Jewish mysticism, led by Howard Cooper and Andy Stoller. In the first session I gained an insight into the use of teaching stories and a new light fell on the gospels. The text we looked at, my response to it (which seemed to me simple and childish) and the response of the group to my comments, gave me an insight into the truth of direct communication with God, what it is to be a Jewish mystic and what it is to be a Quaker.

I went to epilogue, because I always go to epilogue at Woodbrooke, it is one of the things I most value about being there. Helen Rowlands spoke about the joys of saying yes. I knew then that Jesus had, in a mystic sense, been walking beside me, holding my hand as my Sunday school teacher had told me, all my life. But I had been denying it, refusing to acknowledge him. That evening, at epilogue, I said ‘yes’. In evangelical Christian language I ‘asked Jesus into my life’ – except that he was already there, I was just, finally, recognising that.

I wrote this about two years ago, but the experience is still vivid to me, and when I recall it, the sense of the presence of Jesus is still vivid too. I still find it somewhat difficult to talk about, especially if my hearers feel that I am being very ‘Christian’ in my language. I’m still clear that I am a Quaker, a Universalist, and a Buddhist, but I have to acknowledge an awareness of Jesus in my life – because that is my experience. I’m going back to Woodbrooke next month to take another course with the same tutors, because learning about Judaism has opened up so much else for me. I’m not sure whether or not I hope it will be as dramatic as the above, but I’ve received some very clear promptings that I should be there.

Well it always was in the children’s abecedarius!

I’ve had reason to think about ink lately, especially registrar’s ink. I’ve recently been appointed Assistant registering Officer to my Area Meeting, with a view to becoming Registering Officer next year. I was lucky that this spring there was a training day and a weekend conference for Registering Officers from all over Britain.

We talked a lot about ink, about the importance of using permanent ink, both on the legal documents and on the Quaker Certificate of Marriage, about the provision of pens and even how to shake the ink bottle.

We also talked a lot about what it means for a couple to be married ‘in the care of the meeting’ and how this could be achieved. Often only one member of a couple is involved in the meeting, sometimes they live at a distance, occasionally a considerable distance, from the meeting where the wedding will take place. This makes it an incredible challenge for the meeting to support them and their marriage. In one session, looking at this particular issue, we were asked if any of us felt that our marriage had been, or was, in the care of the meeting – very few of us put our hands up. I was one of them. My case is somewhat unusual these days. I met my spouse at meeting, our courtship was mainly conducted at Quaker study groups (beginning by his offering me lifts) and at folk dances at the Meeting House. We were appointed meeting house caretakers and the wedding was arranged, at the meeting house, in scarcely more than six weeks. Like other people, we have had times of feeling out of tune with the meeting and times of being very active members, but we are still there, part of the meeting, doing what we can to support others, and receiving support ourselves. The situation isn’t always perfect, and caretaking particularly had its stresses, but I feel it is fair to say that our marriage was and is ‘in the care of the meeting’.

This mixture of attention to detail (the ink) and deep concern for spiritual issues is something I really value about the Quaker way.

Another reason I’ve been thinking about ink is sustainability. Our commitment, made in Canterbury in 2011, to become ‘a low carbon sustainable community’ led me to look closely at various aspects of my lifestyle, including monitoring my energy usage (and turning down the central heating thermostat), and thinking about what I buy and whether I really need things. One thing I began to notice is how many things I use that are ‘disposable’ – but as Marion McNaughton observed in ‘Finding the Prophetic Voice for our Time’ (Woodbrooke Journal Autumn 2007) ‘there is no such place as ‘away’ ‘, they go to landfill and we need to reduce how much goes to landfill. A lot of what I send to landfill is plastic, so I began to look at these disposable items. They are small items, but small items add up. One of them is ball point pens. I thought about this and remembered that how much I liked my fountain pen. I wrote all my exam scripts with it – O level, A level, degree. I’ve fetched it out, and am trying to use it (usually with washable ink for everyday use) instead of ball points. I’m also using pencils more, for writing all the lists that I constantly use in an attempt to bring some order to my life! This is a small thing, but again we need the attention to small details combined with an awareness of the bigger picture.

What is your motivation for interfaith work? we were asked at the beginning of a conference for Quakers involved in Interfaith both nationally and in their own localities.

Mine is rooted in Advices and Queries:

‘5. Take time to learn about other people’s experiences of the Light.‘ and ‘6. Do you work gladly with other religious groups in the pursuit of common goals? While remaining faithful to Quaker insights, try to enter imaginatively into the life and witness of other communities of faith, creating together the bonds of friendship.‘ and ultimately ‘1. Take heed, dear Friends, to the promptings of love and truth in your hearts. Trust them as the leadings of God whose Light shows us our darkness and brings us to new life.‘

And then we were asked – how will we judge which groups we can work with, what is acceptable and what must we challenge?

To me the answer is: ‘But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law.‘ Galatians 5:22-23

My mother is a Universalist and has been since her teens, believing firmly that all faiths have some insight into the Truth. I grew up with this idea and so, essentially, have always been a universalist (though only later a Quaker Universalist). This was in a context of being in a predominately Christian setting in terms of teaching at School and Sunday School, but always having some contact with children from Jewish families, and, as I grew up, an increasingly diverse community.

In recent years I have had an increasing number of opportunities for Interfaith contact. I have also become involved, particularly through Watford Interfaith Association, in helping to create those opportunities for others. Particularly valuable have been ‘Sacred Space’ at Watford Celebration, and the Interfaith Pilgrimage.

‘Sacred Space’ is a safe ‘corner’ within a large community event, where people can share aspects of their faith and discuss topics where views are quite divergent. There has been good participation from major faith groups and smaller ones.

The Interfaith Pilgrimage in Watford has run for several years during National Interfaith Week, visiting the synagogue, central mosque, a couple of churches and the gurdwara, which are all within walking distance of each other.

Welcoming visitors to one’s place of worship is akin to welcoming people into one’s home. Over the years both hosts and visitors have become more comfortable and relaxed about it.

Sharing food at the beginning and end of the pilgrimage helps to make people feel welcome. Walking together through the town centre also makes a statement.

Learning about other people’s faiths, and being gently challenged to explain my own to those who know little or nothing about it, has served to strengthen as well as broaden my own beliefs.

Bible Study group, Watford, April 7th 2013. Matthew 9:35 – 10:15

‘35 And Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people. ... ‘ King James Version

Person 1: “So – he went about teaching, preaching and healing.”

Person 2: “It’s the healing that’s the problem.”

We’ve been working our way through Matthew’s gospel since somewhen in the middle of last year, a small chunk at a time, twice a month before Meeting for Worship on Sunday morning. Every time we come to a story about healing (and there sure are a lot of them) we have much the same discussion. How can we believe them, should we even try, are they meant to be true, or metaphorical, or was it just what a prophet was expected to do, what does modern medical knowledge tell us, how does this relate to our experience?

I struggle again with the gap between my intellect and my actions. I learnt, as a child, at Sunday school, to doubt the literal truth, to believe that science could now explain it all. As an adult with an illness (myalgic encephalomyelitis) for which there is no medical treatment I had complementary therapies of several kinds. This helped me cope, and sometimes eased my pain a lot. I became increasingly interested, and, somewhat later, received a Reiki attunement. If asked, I will lay my hands on someone and expect healing energy to flow through me to them. And it apparently does. My head still has some doubts, my hands don’t hesitate.

‘Are you open to the healing power of God’s love?’ asks the second of the advices and queries. I hope so. In the sense that healing means becoming whole, perhaps even becoming holy, rather than necessarily the healing of physical ills. How much healing am I willing or able to accept? How open am I to God’s love?

A few years ago the bible study group was reading Mark’s gospel. We read Mark 1: 29-31:

‘On leaving the synagogue, he (Jesus) went with James and John straight to the house of Simon and Andrew. Now Simon’s mother-in-law had gone to bed with fever, and they told him about her straightaway. He went to her, took her by the hand and helped her up. And the fever left her and she began to wait on them.’

Having sat with this for a while, with my thoughts and anxieties about healing and about what was left unsaid, trying to relate my personal experience to a character in the story, I eventually wrote:

Another Mary?

They burst into the house, all talking at once. Something had happened to excite them. The noise of their voices was agony in my head, I wished they’d gone some place else. I was so hot, so tired, I ached everywhere and the least sound felt like a giant bell in my head.

Then he came into my room, took my hand, and said ‘Get up Mary, all is well’.

And all was well with me, the pain was gone, the fever was gone, the exhaustion was gone.

I rose from my bed, washed my face and hands, pulled on a clean shift and went to find them food and drink.

my idea of Heaven

Heaven is not in the hereafter.

Heaven is in the here and now.

Right Here. Right Now.

if i walk mindfully, i can glimpse Heaven.

if i peel the potatoes knowing the Presence of God, i can glimpse Heaven.

if i wash up, just wash up, i can touch Heaven.

when i sit with my friend and we truly listen to one another, together we take a small step into the Kingdom of God.

if i can sit with my enemy and we can truly listen to one another, together we can take a great leap into Heaven.

Heaven is a place of inward stillness, where the Presence of God is known, where all are aware of the Love of God.

It is not a quiet place, It is not an empty place, and It is definitely not a lonely place. Everyone is there, even if many of them don’t know it yet.

if i can reach out to anyone and everyone i meet and show God’s Love for them, together we can take a small step towards Heaven.

Early Quakers spent quite a lot of time in gaol. George Fox was imprisoned many times, and so were many others. Sometimes conditions were, apparently, reasonable. At other times they were very difficult. We have accounts of Fox in Derby gaol in 1651 and his refusal of a captaincy in the army, following which he was moved from relatively comfortable imprisonment to the dungeons.

The gaol at Lancaster castle, were many Quakers were imprisoned, can still be visited. The tour guide may agree to shut you in a cell for a minute. It is dark and crowded and unpleasant, even when you are locked in, as I was, with some of your best friends and a prison chaplain.

Quakers were imprisoned for a variety of reasons including: refusal to pay tithes; refusal to swear oaths (an imprisonable offence at the time and one they all committed when brought before the court, making imprisonment inevitable if they came to court); meeting together in groups exceeding five (a law having been passed that expressly forbade such gatherings except in church).

A famous story tells how the children of Reading meeting kept the Meeting for Worship when all the adults had been imprisoned for meeting together. An account of a similar incident in Bristol tells how the children were beaten by the local officers of the law for doing likewise.

I have been interested to learn of some Quakers at the same period who were held in slavery in Algiers. Despite being held in slavery they were allowed to keep their meetings, at a time when Friends in England were being locked up for worshipping together. Quaker slaves were apparently popular with they owners being hard-working and sober. Some were Quakers before being seized by pirates and sold into slavery, but others became Quakers during their enslavement.

The sufferings of those in prison and the need that was felt to record this and to do what was possible to relieve the suffering led to the formation of ‘Meeting for Sufferings’ initially for this purpose. Meeting for Sufferings continues to meet regularly, acting on behalf of Britain Yearly Meeting between Yearly Meeting sessions. Occasionally it still has to record Friends imprisoned for acting in faith, often for non-violent direct action against weapons on mass destruction.

This ongoing contact with prisons seems to be one of the factors that has led Quakers to work for prison reform. Elizabeth Fry’s work with women prisoners is well known, but there were many others. In the present day we have Quaker chaplains in many prisons and Quakers who are prison visitors. Meetings for Worship are held regularly in prisons across the country. Another recent piece of work has been ‘Circles of support and Accountability’, a scheme for released sex offenders aimed at reducing re-offending rates. It has been acknowledged a success by the Home Office and is now an independent charity ‘Circles’. Also valuable is the work of Bob Johnson, Consultant Psychiatrist in the Special Unit in Parkhurst Prison, Isle of Wight, UK, from 1991 to 1996, who has shown how effective more humane treatment of prisoners is in reducing re-offending. Unfortunately the authorities have not been convinced to follow this pattern.

I believe in God.

I also agree with the non-theists. As far as I can make out I don’t believe in the God that they don’t believe in.

That is, I don’t believe in (among other things): an old man sitting on a cloud; a Being who throws thunderbolts, causes earthquakes and hurricanes; created the world in seven days; does what humans demand in their prayers. I acknowledge that ‘God’ may be a construct of the human imagination, to me that does not make God less ‘real’ or less important.

I do believe in something: some force that is benevolent, purposeful, healing, loving, within and beyond us, with which we can choose to align ourselves, which we can allow to act through us.

Sitting in expectant waiting with others is one way that I can be more aware of this Presence, but mindful breathing or walking, alone or with others, and chanting with others, work just as well for me. Other people will find different methods that suit them. To me what seems vital is that we pause to listen, and that we respond in action.

I could write more – but I won’t. Silence and action will say more than words.

Thinking about sustainability and becoming a low carbon community leads us to think about food. Watford Meeting has been challenged by some of our younger members to ask what we can do to encourage our community (both Quakers and the wider community) to move towards eating in a more sustainable way. Vast amounts of food are wasted daily by supermarkets and other outlets because it is past it ‘sell by’ date although still perfectly good to eat. Vast amounts of fuel are used transporting food from place to place which could be saved if we ate food produced nearer to home. Vast amounts of food that is perfectly good for human consumption is wasted by feeding it to animals to turn into meat for us. Vast amounts of artificial fertilisers and pesticides are used unnecessarily that would not be required in a well balanced mixed organic farming system.

Local research has shown that much of the short-dated food in Watford is being collected and distributed to those who might otherwise be hungry, so current efforts are looking at ways we might improve access to locally grown and produced food, reducing food miles and chemical usage. Our ‘food group’ is working on plans for local distribution of food boxes from a farmer in Hertfordshire.

Last year our meeting house garden was home to some chickens who provided entertainment and eggs, until they became a meal for one of the local foxes. I understand our warden plans to try again this spring.

Many Quakers have already felt moved to become vegetarian or vegan to reduce their impact on the environment, reduce animal suffering and help make food supplies go round. While it is sometimes argued that this is a middle class lifestyle choice, it is not actually a more expensive option, though it does require some thinking through and learning to achieve a balanced diet.

Another aspect of food is its role in building community. Shared meals are a wonderful opportunity to enjoy one another’s company and get to know one another better. Currently, in Watford Quaker Meeting, we have opportunities to meet for breakfast on those Sundays that we have all age worship (about to increase from four times a year to eight or nine) and for lunch on the third Sunday of most months. Breakfast is usually cereal & croissants to keep things simple to prepare. Lunch is generally on a bring and share basis (bringing being encouraged but not insisted upon). Sometimes all age worship activities include the preparation of food to be eaten for lunch – soup, bread and fruit crumble become a feast. And then there is always Area meeting tea – a highlight of the Quaker month.

Another aspect of food is realising that there are those in our community who at times can not afford food. Watford, like many other places, now has a food bank, which is fortunately finding larger premises to enable it to meet growing demand. It still need financial and volunteer support in order to continue to operate.

So next time you eat, stop for a moment to give thanks for having something to eat, for all the work that has gone in to providing it for you, for those you are sharing it with, and what you can do to help ensure that the food we have available is more fairly shared so that everyone has enough.